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Melvin'd/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Florence, Melvin, Marik, Yami, Yugi, Mr. Moseby, Cody, Zorc, Guest, Téa, Joey, Tristan, Noah, Gansley, Nezbitt, Johnson, Leichter, Crump Date: January 6, 2010 Running Time: 10:00 Transcript ("Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce plays) CAPTIONS: LittleKuriboh Presents In Association With Kroooze A LittleKuriboh Production Yu-Gi-Oh! the abridged series Episode 46 - "Melvin'd" (Opening sequences are done by image splicing and artwork by Kirbopher) (Cut to Florence on the left and Melvin on the right battling with light sabers (Note: Melvin's lightsaber comes out of the Millennium Rod while Florence has a normal lightsaber) on top of the blimp. After several clashes, cuts to dramatic close-up of Melvin and Florence's faces during a stalemate clash) FLORENCE: You can't win, Melvin. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. MELVIN: Bull-crap. If I strike you down you'll be as dead as Naruto the Abridged Series. FLORENCE: Yes, but with me gone, you'll have my fangirls to deal with. MELVIN: Perhaps we should settle things a little more traditionally. With a children's card game! (Cut back to normal Yu-Gi-Oh! scene footage instead of spliced images and digital drawings) MELVIN: But not just any children's card game. A ''shadow'' children's card game! Ahahahahaha! FLORENCE: God, is that really how I used to talk back in season one? I must've sounded like a total wanker. MARIK: (Appearing to Florence's right as a ghost) Yes, you did, you sounded exactly like a wanker. FLORENCE: I was being rhetorical, Marik. MARIK: A rhetorical wanker! MELVIN: But before we begin this duel to the death, I have just one question. Could I get a hug? FLORENCE: I'm not going to hug you! MARIK: Maybe we should hug him, Bakura. I mean, he seems like an okay guy. FLORENCE: Marik, that's your evil alter ego. He killed your father and made your life a living hell, remember? MELVIN: Huuuug? MARIK: I still think you should hug him. FLORENCE: I'm not bloody hugging him!! MELVIN: Fine! Don't hug me! It makes little difference. Once I beat you, your show will be canceled faster than you can say "created by Joss Whedon". FLORENCE: I'll be damned if this show is going to be canceled before I get the screentime I was promised in my bloody contract! MELVIN: Then face me, Florence, and suffer the wrath of the Egyptian Gods! Gahahahahahahahaha! MARIK: Oh, I get it. He was implying that you wanted me to sleep with you. Ha! That is pretty funny! After all, I'm waaay out of your league. FLORENCE: Sod off, Marik! (Cut to inside the Millennium Puzzle) YAMI: Yugi, what are you doing in my soul room? YUGI: I got bored, came to visit. Hey, do you have Nintendo in here? YAMI: Um, Yugi, this room is the manifestation of my inner turmoil. My eternal quest to unravel the truth behind my mysterious past— YUGI: So, what? You don't have Nintendo? YAMI: No, Yugi. I don't have Nintendo. YUGI: Your soul is lame! (Back on top of the blimp with Florence, Melvin and Marik) MELVIN: I don't know why you're so hellbent on saving your series, Florence. After all, you could always go be on that spin-off show. What was it called again? Zorc and Pals? FLORENCE: Yes, well, I'm afraid that show was already canceled a few months back. MARIK: What happened to Zorc? FLORENCE He got himself a job on a new series: The Suite Life of Zorc and Cody. (Cut to original digital images and image splicing by Kirbopher for several sequences) (Opening sequence of "The Suite Life of Zorc and Cody") MR. MOSEBY: Well, it seems our hotel is being visited by a very special VIP guest. Zack, Cody, I want you both on your best behavior. CODY: Don't worry, Mr. Moseby! We promise we won't do anything baaaaaad! ZORC: That's right! We'll be good little boys! CODY: Come on, Zorc! Let's go play a practical joke on that VIP guest Mr. Moseby was talking about! ZORC: Hooray! I love practical jokes! CODY: Okay! When he comes around the corner, we jump out and scare him! ZORC: Got it! CODY: Wait for it... Now! (Zorc breathes fire on the guest with his dragon head) GUEST: Oh my God, I'm burning! Ahhh! ZORC: Hooray! I love practical jokes! CODY: Holy bleep! I think he's dead... ZORC: (voiceover) Stay tuned for our cameo on Hannah Montana! (Cut to Hannah Montana. Zorc has stepped on Hannah) CODY: Holy bleep! I think she's dead. (Change back to normal scenes; cut to top of the blimp) MARIK: Hey, hey, Bakura, guess who I am. (in an annoying and stereotypical ghostly tone) Ooh, Bakura, you must believe in the Heart of the Cards because I am the Pharaoh! Ooh! FLORENCE: Yes, Marik. Very amusing... MARIK: (still in stereotypical tone) Ooh! Yugi, you must summon the Celtic Guardian! The fate of the world depends on it! FLORENCE: Thank you Marik, that's quite enough alre— MARIK: (still annoyingly) The Celtic Guardian, Yugi! It is your destiny! FLORENCE: Uh, sometimes I wonder which Marik I despise more... MELVIN: Hug? FLORENCE: No hug! MARIK: (still being stupid) Yugi, you should totally hug him! FLORENCE: Shut up! Please, both of you, just shut up! (Inside the blimp, in Yugi's room) TÉA: Yugi, I just woke up in Bakura's room and he— YUGI: Whoa, whoa, back up! You were sleeping in Bakura's room? And, here I thought you had class, Téa! (cough-laugh) Actually that's a lie, I never thought that. TÉA: Yugi, this is serious! Bakura's missing! YUGI: And you woke me up because...? TÉA: It means his room is free! We can totally party in there! YUGI: Damn skippy, we can! (On top of the blimp) MELVIN: And now, Mega Ultra Chicken, arise from your grave! MARIK: Stay on target! FLORENCE: Oh, bollocks. MARIK: Stay on target! FLORENCE: I believe we're royally screwed. MARIK: Stay on friggin' target! FLORENCE: What could I possibly use to defeat an Egyptian God card? MARIK": (once again in a stereotypical ghostly tone) Ooh! The Celtic Guardian, Yugi! Ooh! FLORENCE:(yelling) I DON'T HAVE THE BLOODY CELTIC GUARDIAN! HOW THE BLOODY HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO USE A BLOODY CARD I DON'T BLOODY HAVE?! AND EVEN IF I DID BLOODY HAVE IT, HOW WOULD IT WORK AGAINST A BLOODY EGYPTIAN GOD?! MARIK: (still in stereotypical ghostly voice) Because the fate of the world depends on it, Aibou! FLORENCE: What the bloody hell does "aibou" mean?! MARIK: I think it's Japanese for "Gay". MELVIN: If you're done fighting with your girlfriend, we have a card game to finish. FLORENCE: He's not my girlfriend! MARIK: You tell him, honey! MELVIN: Now I shall use Mega-Ultra Chicken's secret ability that I just this second made up to convert my Life Points into Attack Points, merging me with the beast itself! Prepare yourselves to become part of Internet obscurity! Say hi to the Juggernaut from me! MARIK: Don't worry, Bakura! This is the part where Yugi shows up and saves everybody from certain damnation! ...Any minute now. (Cut to inside the blimp, where Yugi and the main cast are having a party in Bakura's room) JOEY AND TRISTAN: PARTY TIME! YUGI: You know, Téa, I can't help but think I should be doing something very important right now. TÉA: Yeah, it's called making out, preferably with me. (Back on top of the blimp) MARIK: Huh. FLORENCE: So much for that. Still, it was a good show while it lasted. Remember that one time when I said "I don't care"? Hilarious! MARIK: Yeah. I suppose there's only one thing left to do. FLORENCE: Right. (Music for the song, "Stand by Me" begins) FLORENCE: Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. (continues) MARIK: (singing lyrics to the song) When the night has come, and the land is dark, And the mo-oo-on is the only light we'll see-ee. No, I won't be afraid, no, I-I-I wo-on't be afraid, Just so lo-oo-ong as you sta-and, stand by me. And Bakura, Bakura, stand, by me. Oh, sta-aa-and, by me. Oh oh, stand by me, stand by me... (Melvin has Mega-Ultra Chicken destroy Florence and Marik while they sing) MELVIN: Hear that, Florence? That's the sound of the fourth wall, collapsing! Any final remarks before your series concludes? FLORENCE: Just the one. Tell my fangirls, I love them. (vaporizes) MELVIN: Ahahahahaha! Hey, LittleKuriboh, where's the new episode? Ahahahahahahahahaha! (Back inside the blimp; Ghost Nappa is playing in the background) YUGI: Téa, did you hear something just now? TÉA: The only thing I can hear is the sound of you NOT making out with me! YUGI: I don't know, it sounded kinda like our show being— (Yugi is cut off by the screen and sound becoming nothing but static) (Credits appear and scroll, while Marik continues singing "Stand By Me") MARIK: If the sky that we look upon, should tumble and fall, and the mounta-aa-ins should crumble to the sea. I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear, just as lo-oo-ong, as you sta-aand, stand by me. And Bakura, Bakura, stand, by me. Oh, stand, by me. Woah oh, stand, stand by me, stand by me. (Lyrics switch to "Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston) You're way too beautiful, girls. That's why it'll never work, You'll have me suicidal, suicidal... (Cut from black screen to Noah's base. Clips from other 4Kids shows are shown on the screens around him.) NOAH: (voiced by Kirbopher) Gentlemen, everything is going forward as planned. Now that Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged has been canceled, we can proceed with phase two: the complete and total domination of the world-wide media network by 4Kids Entertainment! But first, we must decide how to deal with Yugi and his friends. (Each member of the Big Five is shown on each of the five screens in front of him.) GANSLEY: (voiced by GanXingba) Death by drowning! NEZBITT: (voiced by MasakoX) Death by robots! JOHNSON: (voiced by Kaiser Neko) Death by justice! LEICHTER: (voiced by Lanipator) Death by bad publicity! CRUMP: (voiced by Takahata 101) Death by penguins! NOAH: Hmm... All of these are very good ideas, good ideas indeed, except for yours, Crump; that was dumb, and so are you. CRUMP: Oow. NOAH: But I have something even better in mind. Heheheh, who is the green-haired rich spoiled brat screwing the rules now, Seto? Heheheheh... BIG FIVE: Hahahahahahahaha! NOAH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! CRUMP: Penguins... CAPTION: you in season three 2x24